FigWage HQ · Floor 3

The Break Room

Twenty-three rooms, every one of them open, fully booked and extremely official. Figgy, Head of Facilities, will show you around and deny everything: behind the name tags this is the staff break room — toys to fiddle with and mini-tools that actually earn their keep, every one disguised as a meeting.

Floor Pass

0 / 23 doors stamped

Visit a room and its plate stamps itself. Your pass lives in this browser, on this device only — nothing is uploaded, there is no prize, just the quiet satisfaction of a full set of stamps.

Start here — the two flagships

By the lift · Featured

New to the floor? These first. The biggest doors, right by the lift.

313Fitness Track

Gate Runner mid-run: W-2, 1040 and receipt gates waiting on the green track

Gate Runner — the endless runner

Pick the better gate, grow your squad, dodge the tax forms — and fear the Audit.

FlagshipScore chase ★ Figgy's pick — today Start running › 301Engineering

FigCode's fake code editor, payroll code already typed in and a terminal waiting below

FigCode — the fake-coding screen

Mash the keyboard and flawless paycheck code types itself. Esc is the boss key.

FlagshipOpen-ended toy ★ Figgy's pick — today Enter quietly ›

???Unmarked Door

Surprise Me

One random room, picked by the door. No peeking, no choosing — the break-room way to skip the 23-way stare-down.

Random room One of the 23 doors, picked at random. Open the door ›

Play a game

Games Corner

Actual games: scores to chase, buttons to mash, tiles to merge.

313Fitness Track

Gate Runner — the endless runner

Pick the better gate, grow your squad, dodge the tax forms — and fear the Audit.

Score chase ★ Figgy's pick — today Start running › 304Quiet Room

The 2048 board with 2, 4, 4 and 2 tiles lined up and merges waiting to happen

2048 — Numbers Desk

Slide and merge the numbered tiles until you make 2048. Quiet, then suddenly not.

Score chase ★ Figgy's pick — today Take a seat › 310Training Room

The typing race mid-test: your progress bar against Figgy's, passage on screen

Typing Race — the 60-second typing test

Type the passage, get your WPM. Figgy holds 38 WPM and is very smug about it.

15–60-sec race ★ Figgy's pick — today Begin training › 307Storage

A fresh sheet of purple bubble wrap, every bubble still unpopped

Bubble Wrap — pop the whole sheet

An endless sheet of bubble wrap, popped one bubble at a time. That is the entire room.

Endless toy ★ Figgy's pick — today Start inspection › 311Executive Floor

The Corporate Ladder mid-climb: 14 emails in the outbox, current title Intern

Corporate Ladder — the promotion clicker

Click to climb from Intern to CEO, one synergy at a time. No meetings required.

Open-ended clicker ★ Figgy's pick — today Start career › 314Matchmaking Office

A match in Swipe Break: Typing Race is warming up its fingers, confetti everywhere

Swipe Break — the break-swiping game

Swipe through profiles of naps, snacks and other productivity villains. Match responsibly.

Quick swipe deck ★ Figgy's pick — today Start swiping › 308Reception

Figgy beside the big red Do Not Press button, insisting that was the one rule

The Red Button — do not press

One big red button that Figgy keeps asking you not to press. You know what to do.

30-sec gag ★ Figgy's pick — today Approach button › 318Mail Room

SORTER mid-sort: a pay slip falling between the red deduction bin and the green take-home bin, Figgy stamping at the desk edge

SORTER — the pay-slip sort

Pay slips rain down Figgy's desk — red deductions left, green take-home right. Three strikes and the desk wins.

NEWScore chase ★ Figgy's pick — today Start sorting › 319Records Room

FIND-IT — the desk search

Figgy holds up one Wanted slip — find that exact slip in the messy desk before the clock runs out. Three Mis-files and the desk wins.

NEWScore chase ★ Figgy's pick — today Start searching › 320Stamp Desk

STAMP mid-shift: a ready slip popping from a desk cubby with an APPROVED stamp landing on it, Figgy holding the stamp at the desk edge

STAMP — the stamp desk

Ready slips pop up in the desk cubbies — stamp only the ready ones before the wave clears. Three VOID stamps and the desk wins.

NEWScore chase ★ Figgy's pick — today Start stamping › 321Counting Desk

WORDCOUNTER mid-count: Figgy at a counting desk beside a long draft, oversized counters mid-roll, one counter crossing a red limit line

WORDCOUNTER — paste it, watch it count

Paste any draft and watch words, characters, lines and reading time move live — with a limit checker that flags the moment you cross a cap.

NEWUtility ★ Figgy's pick — today Start counting › 322Focus Desk

FOCUS CLOCK — the focus desk

25 minutes of focus, 5 minutes of break, Figgy working beside you at his desk. The bell rings once, then you choose the break.

NEWUtility ★ Figgy's pick — today Start focusing › 323Chance Desk

CHANCE DESK mid-decision: Figgy behind the desk, a coin in the air, a die tumbling, the wheel blurred in motion

CHANCE DESK — let Figgy decide

One tap and Figgy decides — pick from your list, flip a coin, or roll the dice. Small choices only, settled on the spot.

NEWUtility ★ Figgy's pick — today Let Figgy decide ›

Pretend to work

The Office

Screens that look extremely busy, so you don't have to be.

301Engineering

FigCode — the fake-coding screen

Mash the keyboard and flawless paycheck code types itself. Esc is the boss key.

Open-ended toy ★ Figgy's pick — today Enter quietly › 303Server Room

The FigOS desktop with its fake live metrics window open, error rate nominal

FigOS Desktop — a fake OS in your browser

Boot a whole fake desktop: draggable dashboards, team chat and settings, zero actual work.

Open-ended desktop ★ Figgy's pick — today Boot FigOS › 302IT

The FigOS update screen at 2 percent complete, warming up the figs

FigOS Update — the fake update screen

A full-screen system update that stalls at 99% and never finishes. Your alibi, installing.

Quick gag ★ Figgy's pick — today Start update › 309Security

Figgy on the security camera feed, status: suspicious, calculator in hand

Figgy Is Watching — security-cam toy

Move your cursor and the security camera's eyes follow it. Every break room should have this.

Open-ended toy ★ Figgy's pick — today View cameras ›

Make something

The Workshop

Generators and sandboxes — walk out with something made (or decided).

316Gravity Lab

Gravity Lab specimens — figs and documents — tumbling across the bench mid-physics

Gravity Lab — the physics sandbox

Drop, stack and fling documents and figs, flip gravity, and feed the black hole.

Open-ended toy ★ Figgy's pick — today Start dropping › 305HR Office

The out-of-office message composer with Figgy on the letterhead, situations ready to pick

Excuse Generator — excuses on letterhead

Generate a professionally worded excuse for being late or leaving early. Instant paperwork.

30-sec generator ★ Figgy's pick — today File paperwork › 306Cafeteria

The Lunch Roulette wheel with its segments: burrito, sad desk salad, sushi set and Figgy's pick

Lunch Roulette — let the wheel decide

Can't decide lunch? Spin the wheel — every option is priced in minutes of your work.

1-min spin ★ Figgy's pick — today See menu ›

Actually useful

Utility Closet

Real tools hiding on a joke floor. No catch, they just work.

317The Workshop

Image Bench before and after: the same Figgy picture, the after copy down to a friendlier file size

Image Bench — compress & convert images

Shrink and convert images right in your browser — your files never leave your device.

NEW1-min tool ★ Figgy's pick — today Open the bench › 315Supply Closet

A finished QR code in the Code Maker, ready to download as a PNG

QR Code Maker — Code Maker

Turn any link or text into a QR code and download the PNG. Genuinely handy.

1-min tool ★ Figgy's pick — today Make a code › 312Finance

The meeting cost meter running live: this meeting has cost $0.19 so far

Meeting Cost Calculator

Add the people in the meeting and watch what it really costs, ticking up per second.

Live tool ★ Figgy's pick — today Run the numbers ›

FigWage HQ is a fictional workplace. No meetings were held, no updates were installed, and productivity was harmed only slightly in the making of this floor.

Floor Pass stamps are kept in this browser only — nothing is uploaded. Figgy's pick is chosen by the date (the date is hashed onto one of the 23 doors): the same door all day, for everyone, no favourites. Room ??? picks uniformly at random from the same 23 doors.

QR Code is a registered trademark of DENSO WAVE INCORPORATED in Japan and in other countries.